Picasso
by or-so-help-me
Summary: Dipper just wanted to vent. It wasn't his fault the nail polish was shitty.


**It started out with me being frustrated at nail polish…how did it end up like this? Norman does actually have a cameo in this, but I thought it would be weird to list it as a crossover when he doesn't have that much dialogue in it. This was originally for my RP account on Tumblr, as a gift for my followers, so Dipper's dating an oc. Sorry if that offends or anything. **

**I sadly do not own Gravity Falls, or any of the characters in this story. **

**~0~8~0~**

Dipper rolled his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time today. "_No,_ Mabel, I will _not_ paint your nails."

"Dippin' Sauce, why you gotta be so mean?" She stuck her bottom lip out and pouted.

"Because, contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy it."

"Then why did you do it before?"

"I was trying to placate you."

"You placated me thirteen times?" Dipper scowled at Mabel as Wendy cracked up next to him.

"There were different reasons each time, _Mabel_." He articulated through gritted teeth.

"Then you better get ready to placate me some more,_ Dipper_, or I'll tell Wendy about the time at Disneyland when you-"

~0~8~0~

You were seated on the threadbare rug of your attic room, grumbling under his breath. It was 'Foxy to the Touch' pink. His absolute least favorite color nail polish in the entire fucking world. And not just 'cuz he had to paint his sister's nails with it, oh no. It was so damn STICKY and WOULD NOT GLIDE THE WAY HE WANTED IT TO AT ALL. It was so cheap, Mabel's nails always ended up looking like a mess when he was done. She would pat his head and say, "Don't worry, Dipstick, you'll get the hang of it eventually!"

It really got on his nerves. He thought he was actually very good at painting nails, if he had any say in it. Sure he had lied about not enjoying it. He didn't want to look like a loser. Sighing, he cleaned up after Mabel had skipped off. _Pisses me off…nail polish…Mabel's so mean. _

An idea suddenly struck him. He looked at the bottle of jade green nail polish Mabel had in the basket she kept all her nail polish stuff. _Hm._ He grabbed it and brought it downstairs, shaking it as he went.

Wendy was sitting in her usual post behind the counter on the high stools that sat there. He climbed up into the one next to her and twisted to face her.

"Lemme see your hand." He stared at her intently.

"Huh?" She was baffled, of course, she should be.

"Lemme see your hand." He stated, a little more forcefully this time, gesturing for her to hold it out to him. She did, although rather taken aback, and Dipper examined her nails. They were really nice, filed down and rounded, and the cuticles had been pushed back. "You have really nice nails."

"Uh, thanks?" She looked at him a little funny, but shrugged and went along with it. "My mom always taught me to take really good care of them."

"Hm. That's nice. Even if you don't paint them, it's good to keep them manicured and stuff." He mused as he held her left pointer finger and unscrewed the cap on the nail polish, the brush hovering over her nail. "Oh, I'm gonna paint them, okay?"

She shrugged. "Go for it. I've got some time to kill."

So they sat there and he painted her nails. Yes, Dipper Pines, adventurer extraordinaire, painted Wendy Corduroy's nails. He sat back when he was done, examined them, and gave a small nod of approval. "All done!" He screwed the cap back on and gave her a bright smile. She looked them over as well.

"Wow. Dipper, you're actually really good at this!" She exclaimed. He grinned.

"I had a lot of practice with Mabel and my…m-mom." He cleared his throat and trailed off, suddenly very interested in the mouse hole on the base board. She picked up on his sudden mood swing and worked to change the subject quickly.

"So you do like it after all, huh?" She smiled at him, a little mischievously. He blinked, taken aback.

"I dunno. I guess so." Hey look at that, he answered truthfully! Wow, progress, Dipper! "Huh. Hey, Wendy?"

"Hm?" She answered absentmindedly, still observing her newly painted nails.

"I'm gonna go. I've gotta go do something." He slid off the stool and scampered.

"Sure thing, have fun or whatever." She called after him. "And thanks!"

~0~8~0~

Dipper wandered across town, two more bottles of nail polish clinking together in his pocket, plus a nail file, just to be on the safe side. Past the Town Hall, the Diner, the library, the movie theater, and all the way down to the lake. He grinned as he walked down the dock.

Stopping just where the shore met the water line, he got down on his knees and hung his head upside down over the edge, peering into the space underneath.

"Hi, babe!" He called in greeting to his girlfriend, Darbie. She looked up in startled surprise.

"H-hi Dipper!" She smiled up at him.

"Can I come down?"

"Of course!" She patted the rock next to her. Smiling widely, he swung down like the total badass he was and sat down next to her, careful not to step on her tail. Yeah, that's right, tail. Got a problem, _punk_?

He twisted to face her and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose when she looked back. "Lemme see your hand, please." She held it out to him without question. Dipper asked weird things sometimes, she had learned to kinda just go with it. He observed her nails as well, and was glad to see she didn't chew them. He hated that about himself.

"Hey, Darbs?"

"Hm?" She looked at him in mild puzzlement.

"I'm gonna paint your nails, okay?"

"Well, okay." She answered amusedly. So they sat under the dock and listened to the waves lap against the shoreline and talked about everything and nothing while he painted her nails. When he was finished, he blew on them a bit to dry them quicker, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"And you are finished, milady." He gave her a huge, idiotic grin. She smiled back sweetly when she looked her newly painted nails over.

"Wow. Dipstick, you're really good! And you even picked my favorite color!" Her smile grew when she noticed that he had picked up on that tiny detail.

"Yep. Aquamarine." He kissed her cheek. "Well, Darbs, thanks for letting me go a little crazy."

"Anytime. I mean, you do that enough already." She smirked at him.

He gasps in mock hurt. "I can't believe you would say such a thing!" Dramatically, he throws a hand over his eyes and falls off the rock backwards, landing on his back. "I see no reason to go on."

She giggles. "Get up you goof." And he listens, because it's Darbie and he listens to everything she says.

"I've gotta go babe. Gotta find Norman." He climbs off the rock and gives her a quick kiss.

"You're not gonna paint his nails, too, are you?" She asks jokingly.

"Yes." He deadpans. She stares, eyes a little wide.

"Well, alright then. Good luck." She adds warily as he scrambles up the hill and away. Shaking her head and sighing, she slips back into the water. "What a goof."

~0~8~0~

"Norman!" He is too late to realize that Dipper's yell also serves as a warning for 'I am going to pounce on you now." Norman suddenly finds himself face-down on the ground, Dipper straddling his waist.

"Mmf." He grumbles against the dirt.

"I won! I caught you off guard! That means you have to agree to something!" Norman has absolutely no clue what he was talking about; they weren't playing that game anymore, were they? Maybe he had just forgotten. It would make sense, he forgets about things a lot… Sighing, he decides it would be better to just agree and pretend like he remembers. Didn't want to hurt Dipper's feelings.

"Mmhmm."

"I'm going to let you up now, and you're going to do what I want, okay?" Dipper asks warily. Norman nods as best he can. "Pinky promise?" Norman heaves a sigh and reaches a hand back to latch his pinky around Dipper's. "Okay…" Dipper gets off of him and Norman feel as if he can breathe again.

"Well?" He brushes the dirt off his face and clothes as he sits up and observes Dipper, sitting cross-legged a foot away from him, staring at him intently. "What do I have to do this time?"

"I'm going to paint your nails red," Norman freezes at this, staring, "And you're going to let me."

He groans.

~0~8~0~

Roughly ten minutes later, Norman is staring at his now burgundy nails and wondering why he picked this guy to be his best friend. "Dipper."

"Hm?" Dipper replies absent-mindedly as he screws the top back on the bottle and picks the excess nail polish from underneath his own finger nails.

"Why?"

"Mabel asked me to paint her nails." Norman stares at him pointedly. That was not a goddamn answer, and Dipper knew it. Sighing, Dipper relents. "It was a really crappy brand of nail polish so her nails sucked when I was finished and she just patted me on the head. And I hated it, because I'm actually really good, so I just wanted to vent. Through nail polish." Dipper winces as he realizes how stupid that sounded. "You're not the only on whose nails I painted…" He trails off.

Norman rolls his eyes and examines his nails once again. "I don't even wanna know who else it was." Dipper had actually done a pretty good job. Huh. "And if it makes you feel any better, I think you're really good at painting nails."

"Really?" Dipper perks up.

"Yeah. You're really good. Like, Picasso with nail polish." There is a moment of silence where they both stare at each other blankly before bursting into laughter.

"P-Picasso?" Dipper asks when he's settled down enough, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I dunno, it was just the first thing that came to mind." Norman shrugs when his breathing has returned to normal. They sit there in companionable silence for a few minutes.

It was Dipper who breaks the silence, by thanking him. "It…it really means a lot, I guess. That you would actually let me paint your nails."

"No problem. We had that whole 'surprise-agree' thing going after all."

"Oh that?" Dipper laughs "I lied about that. Had to get you to sit still after all." Norman freezes and stares at him, venom in his eyes.

"You little-" But Dipper is already up and running away, cackling as he goes. Norman flops back, frustrated and stares at his nails. _Asshole. Pisses me off. These are really good though…Maybe I'll leave this on for a while longer… _Norman blushes and shakes the thought from his mind. The things he would do for that kid were insane.

**~0~8~0~**

**Hooray! First fic ever published! Constructive criticism would be incredibly appreciated, but please try not to be mean!**


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